I’ve been doing way too much thinking lately. For some reason, though, this thinking is different. It’s not full of anger, frustration, or sadness - it has clarity, and it has apathy. Maybe it’s the effects of the Prozac finally starting to set in, but I like this newfound mental peace. Something I was devastated about last week now barely strikes a chord in me, and I feel like I can actually, I don’t know, accept the situation.
Granted, I’m not emotionally numb - not yet anyway. Like, right now, I’m getting frustrated at the fact that my laptop mouse keeps glitching and deleting and rearranging parts of this prose. The emotions are still there. They are just more under control. I don’t feel a need to be sad anymore. In fact, this is the first time in a very long time that I haven’t felt sad or alone. And this is the first time, ever, that I find hope and, dare I say it, motivation.